I can’t take it anymore! Everyday, I think about her. Everyday, I want to know her better. I’m reminded of the experiences we had with others. I remember the comfort I feel when I’m close to her. It feels so right just being next to her, or even talking to her. Spending time with her feels like the best thing in the world.
And yet, there’s nothing I can do to take this further. She’s in another country, thousands of miles away. I want so much to hold her, to spend time with her, to know her a little better. I want to be able to touch her, to see her, for a while more at least.
I’ve been able to imagine life with her. I can see me growing old with her. To spend the rest of my life with her. And I want so much to explore that option, there’s not much else I’d like to do. Everytime I see romantic scenes or couples together, I’m reminded of her. I can’t seem to get her out of my mind though in some ways, I don’t think I want her to vanish from my mind either. Yet she’s so far away…
And it breaks me in 2. To like someone so much and yet, unable to do anything about it. Thousand of miles stand between us and I am at a lost on what I can do. I wanna spend time, and share in all her worries and problems. I wanna be the one she turns to, to be the one who solves all her problems, to take care of her when she needs caring. It pains me that there is no way I can be there for her. For she is in a foreign land and living a life so alien to me right now. And she’s always busy as usual. I can’t seem to reach out to her much. And my heart aches so hard, I’m crying on the inside. I can’t take it anymore but I want it to last because, it’s the only way I stay connected to her.
I’d do anything to be with her. I’d change myself, just to prepare myself to take care of her. To be strong enough so that I can be the shoulder she lies on, the earthly comfort. To be prepared physically, mentally and spiritually to be there for her. I can envision us supporting each other through thick and thin, being there for either of us in all times. Maybe I’m thinking too much…
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