Exercising My Righ┼, Lif┼ing The Floor

God, how awesome you are! Your majesty rises above all else. Your kingdom comes like a reigning fire, no one can stand against You! How God, the 1st night of retreat & we all surrender our hearts to You. You move like a living fire. Even though we joke and we laugh and life goes on but I know, O Lord, You have impacted lives tonight, Lord. Your power moved & touched even the hardest of heart. How awesome You are!

Lord, it’s all about You. Your presence, Your majesty, Your power, Your glory. Pr Dr Philip Lyn told us to die to ourselves and that’s just what we did. We died that night, every single one of us. Though it looks like nothing has changed, Lord I know seeds have been sown. Now we can only wait to see if it will die.

How I was touch by Your presense! To cry for what You cry. To move as You move me. Hallelujah.

Lord, the theme may be “Gimme a break” but Your theme for us is surrender & be filled with the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, how great that You lead us all; even in the journey here. To be ready for this message of Yours.

It’s all for You, O Lord. Holy Spirit, fall in this place. Saturate this place with Your grace, Your power. I don’t want to take another step without You. In all that I do, be it by Your strength, Your grace. May Your glory shine forth. It’s all for You and by You.

Lord, how I cry. You broke my heart for what breaks Yours. You desire and You are celebrating in Heaven as Your sons & daughters just hunger and desire for more and more of You. As they seek to reach out to You, to live with You. It’s the greatest gift You could ever give us. Hallelujah.

I heard You speak today, Lord. For the first time, You spoke, touching right to the core of it. You have covered me with Your holiness, like a white caftan; surrounding my heart, cleansing my soul. I have let go of everything, my heart is broken for You. Buy You, Lord, have healed all my wounds. You made me whole again and given me a new direction. I understand You better now. I see what needs to be done. I move, knowing that it’s not me moving buy You moving through me.

There was 2 men, both of them of similar standing & stature. But 1 went to Heaven, the other to Hell. One had peace in his life, the other worried himself to death. Oh, both were successful! In the eyes of the world, they were the 2 most influential men in the world. 2 lives, mirroring one another. 2 lives, both the same through life but so different in death.

What makes the difference? What made one see God, the other forever forsaken? Only this: One surrendered his life to God. He made the choice to no live by what he wanted but by what He wants. And that’s a lesson I learnt this year.

In the 24th year of my life, I learn truly what Christianity is all about. As I look back on my 2008, I’ve gotta say that much has happened. Much has changed. Much has been done and much foundation has been laid solid.

As many & 1 myself have noticed, I’ve gotten involved in church in a big way. Which is surprising as I did very little the year before. The only volunteering I did in 2007 was in November and December. Moving forward from last year, I have continued and added more things.

But it’s not only church. My work has also added Notgorgetting the whole upheavel with my ex-boss leaving. My current boss thought that I am capable of more responsibilities and hence, my workload increase.

And if that’s not enough, God comes along! Obviously He has things He wants to do in me, so what better time? In came the changes, mostly mental. So there was a lot of things going through my head at that time. What did I learn from all this? To trust in none but the living God; to hold on to Him and look to Him no matter what. To surrender all to Him who can do all.

Continued at this place.

About 2 weeks ago, it really was quite a bad weekend; followed by a very bad week. Physically and mentally wise, I think I was OK. It was just spiritually wise. I remember going to church on a half tank… and coming out of it completely drain.

In fact, I was feeling so empty, nothing could fill the void. I was empty for a few days and even till now, am still rehabilitating. Service has become a burden and not a delight for me.

The strength to go on isn’t there anymore. There’s a level I need to raise to but I need to sort out some personal things before that. It’s like I’m walking out the front door while leaving the back door open. I’m taking a step back because I know, I’ll crash and burn again and again if I try to go on…

13th May - A triple blessing from God! Today was not a very good day at work. Some more, after work I happen to bump into a colleague. Now she also had a bad day. If it was me, I would have started comparing bad days with her and we both will be moody. Instead, I felt the Holy Spirit working within me to hold my rantings and let her vent. After that, I saw her smile (a rarity that!) plus I felt better for lending a listening ear. All glory to God!

While I was still praising God for working in me, I had cross the street. Now, for some unexplainable reason, I decided to look up at the Petronas Twin Towers. Normally, I’d get an enormous sense of vertigo and can’t look very high. Today however, I manage to see all the way to the top with no problem! Praise God for healing me of my vertigo!!!

After prayer service, I was talking to a friend when he pulled out one of those McD papers (you know, the one with the Big Mac chant on it). He didn’t want it anymore and gave it to me. Funnily enough, I was just wishing for something like that just days ago! God has blessed me even when I didn’t really ask Him for it. He really is the God of so much more!!!!!! Plus, He even gives us blessings we never ask Him for!!!

LIFE Retreat (copied from my testimony) - LIFE Retreat was just such an awesome time, not just because of the worship, the word nor the fellowship. During the LIFE Retreat, God really was working within me and encouraging me about PG. Firstly, regarding the apartment. There were 4 single beds and 1 queen size bed in 3 rooms. For some reason, I felt my best choice was to share the queen size bed with Kuan Cheen. All I knew was there was a voice within me telling me that this was my best choice in camp (as crazy as that sounds). But in the end, I praise God for His direction because Kuan Cheen has been such an encouragement to me especially as I get to share about the KLCC PG with him. I pick up a lot of wisdom from him to bring the KLCC PG to the next level. He also reminded me again that in all that we do, it’s all about going out for the ONE. Not only that, I manage to share about PG with Adeline Lim during our devotion time (the one after Ps. Alex’s chariots and horses sharing). Again, she gave me some good advice and suggestions for the PG. I really thank God for these 2 lives who have help encourage me and to refocus me towards the vision and mission of PG.

I give God all the glory. I went to LIFE Retreat simply wanting to take a break from it all, God used the time to refresh me about His will and His plan for me and the KLCC PG. He truly knows what’s best for us, even what’s the best thing we can.

6th June - God put an instinct in me to go back to Shanghai 10. The week before, we were just discussing about how nice it would be if PG could be held in one of the small rooms in Shanghai 10. This week, it really did happen! God really has orchestrated to bless this PG!!!!

Poem by B.V.Cornwall

The Master was searching for a vessel to use:
Before Him were many,
which one would He choose?

“Take me,” cried the gold one. “I’m shiny and bright;
I’m of great value and I do things just right.
My beauty and luster will outshine the rest,
And for someone like You, Master, gold would be best.”

The Master passed on with no word at all,
And looked at a silver urn, grand and tall.

“I’ll serve You, dear Master, I’ll pour out Your wine;
I’ll be on Your table whenever You dine.
My lines are so graceful, my carving so true,
And silver will always complement You.”

Unheeding, the Master passed on to the brass,
Wide-mouthed and shallow and polished like glass.
“Here, here!” cried the vessel. “I know I will do;
Place me on your table for all men to view.”

“Look at me,” called the goblet of crystal so clear.
“My transparency shows my contents so dear.
Though fragile am I, I will serve you with pride,
And I’m sure I’ll be happy in Your house to abide.”

Then the Master came next to a vessel of wood;
Polished and carved, it solidly stood.
“You may use me, dearest Master,” the wooden bowl said.
“But I’d rather You used me for fruit, not for bread.”

Then the Master looked down and saw a vessel of clay.
Empty and broken it helplessly lay.
No hope had the vessel that the Master might choose
To cleanse, and make whole, to fill and to use.
“Ah! Now this is the vessel I’ve been hoping to find.
I’ll mend it and use it and make it all Mine.”

“I need not the vessel with pride of itself,
Nor one that is narrow to sit on the shelf,
Nor one that is big-mouthed and shallow and loud,
Nor one that displays his contents so proud,
Nor the one who thinks he can do things just right,
But this plain earthen vessel I’ll fill with My might.”

Then gently He lifted the vessel of clay,
Mended and cleansed it and filled it that day.
He spoke to it kindly. “There’s work you must do.
Just pour out to others as I pour into you.”

On Sunday, a friend said she saw me as ’stable’. Which is kinda weird coz I thought her only impression of me would be ‘unstable’. Or ‘immature’.

Actually, I notice that most people seem to think I am of the ‘good boy’ personality. Geee… I’d never put myself in that category. Also, people tend to be more serious around me. I seem to get all the serious talks, not really any jokes or casual off-the-cuff conversations.

I’ve always wanted to be more casual. To be someone like Jim Carrey, who is always funny, always bringing laughter into a situation. To a certain aspect, I think I’ve reached there by being able to see the funny side of life.

On the other hand, I know I’m still a very serious and a quiet kinda guy. Probably I give out that aura of seriousness or matureness or something like that. I don’t know. Now I realize, my portion in life is probably to be the mature, serious one. To be the rock and anchor that people can depend on. Or to be the kinda person that people can trust.

Oh! And many have described me as always smiling! Which is another surprise as I’m not the type to smile easily. It’s really weird how different people see you, isn’t it?

OK, first part of me opening up.

Back in secondary school, I remember leading quite a number of teams. Granted, all the teams were academic project teams but still, I always got the job. Partly could be due to no one else was interested, but I believe also partly coz I had some sort of leadership skills.

The funny thing is: I always tried to not be the leader. I remember leading a very ‘under the radar’ life after secondary school. Needless to say, I didn’t lead any groups after that. By choice, mind you. After seeing both sides of the fence, I gotta say; I guess I’m not really a follower kinda guy.

Only problem is, I’m a more lead by example kinda guy. I would be the ‘go to’ leader who has my own ideas and my own way of doing things. I have my own plans and will lead others by direction. I’d listen to the opinions of others but in the end, it would be my decision.

The funny thing, I’d rather it be a democracy. Everyone pitch in, everyone brings out ideas, everyone taking responsibility. I’d much rather have a group that works with or without a leader. The kind of group that works together instead of looking to 1 to lead.

I’m coming to a realization though that most of the time (especially in Malaysia), people look to a leader. Rather, that has been my experience. Whenever I’ve looked for feedback, chances are it all comes from me in the end. Either that’s the norm, or God is purposely putting me in such groups so that I’d accept that I’m that kinda leader.

Oh well… I’ve always believe that people should just accept who they are. Guess it’s time for me to accept that I’m that kind of leader. And especially, that I’m a leader! Bleh…

A friend commented recently that I don’t reveal much of myself. I guess that’s true to a certain extent. A lot of what I’ve been through, I think only those who were with me would know about it. Actually, majority of the girls I’ve come to know has said that at first glance, they all thought I was a good boy. Course, sadly they were mistaken.

Personally, I prefer to know more about those around me than for me to tell others about me. It’s not that I don’t like to tell others about me, I just rather conversations not be about me. Maybe it’s because I was famous in school for being a teacher’s son. I’ve never liked the limelight, never did like being the center of attention. I’d rather help others reach the limelight.

Don’t get me wrong; I love to interact and the know more people. I just aren’t very talkative. So, it’s a learning process as I learn to hold conversations. Course, it doesn’t help that I like it to be one-way. I really am not very comfortable just talking about me and my life simply because I don’t feel that it’s significant. Or rather, very few of it was significant to talk about.

Course, that means that others don’t really get to know the whole me. They don’t really know what I’ve done, where I’ve been, who I’ve met or what I’ve gone through. Added with the fact that I don’t really have a group of friends who stuck with me through everything I did… well, you know the result.

I don’t know. How should I be more open? Should I talk more about myself? That’s very, very, very hard. Or should I involve friends in more parts of my life? Oh well…

Again and again, God has never failed to refresh me, revive my spirit and relieve me of my burden whenever I am in His presence. Be it in my Quiet Time or in church, He has always, always renew me for the challenges of tomorrow.

Today is a good, if not better, example than most days of this. I have had 2 weeks of the most stressful and hectic time at work ever. And today, the agents were up to their old tricks again; bringing me to within a fraction of losing my temper for the 4th time.

Thank God, He brought ways to help me cool down so much so that I was okay by the end of the day. But better than that, prayer service help me focus on Him and His wonderful ways and plans. When I started to worship Him, immediately all my burden and stress from work just fell away! It all meant nothing anymore.

As I spent time praising Him and praying to Him, all my work troubles did not come to haunt me, nor did any of it still stress me out. In His presence, all my worries and problems seem and are so insignificant. Only His grace, mercy and power really mattered…

And towards the end, He also gave me encouragement to face tomorrow! Armed with His spirit, I now look eagerly to tomorrow when I’ll take on all the problems head on! They no longer worry me, in fact I now look eagerly to it. With Him in me, truly none and nothing can stand in my way. I say to issues, "Bring it on!"

How powerful truly is He who is within me. In an instant, He not only relieve my tension, He gave me peace which I had not had for 2 weeks plus now. In another instant, He can arm me with the strength to face anything. To give me enough strength not just to endure it, but to excel in it. He strengthens me even when I don’t know I need strengthening.

No doubt, all that I accomplish at work will be because of Him and Him alone.

 While most of think it means "seize the day", actually, it means "gather the day" but for all intent and purposes, it means the same. Check out Wikipedia for the whole story behind it.

Anyways, I’ve changed my blog title simply to reflect what many people don’t actually do. Seize the day. Seize the moment. Many a times, we pass by a chance to bring good and life to people. We also allow time to pass us by while we do nothing of importance.

Chances don’t come around very often. We have to seize the moment, seize the chance. When an opportunity comes knocking, seize it! Take it and make it yours. Someone has happy news, seize the moment to celebrate! Someone had sadness come into their life, seize the moment to be a friend in their time of need. A stranger needs help, seize the moment to bring kindness into their life. Your close friend starts asking question about life in general, seize the moment to tell him about the God who loves him and died for him.

God produces many chances and many opportunities to bring hope and life into someone else’s life. Everyday, we are confronted with situations where we can lift people up. Unfortunately, many don’t take the chance because of various reasons. It saddens me to think of the many opportunities spurned for us to do some good in this world.

Seize the day, make the day yours (or more specifically, God’s). Everyday, we are given a fresh chance to make something useful out of it. And yet, how many of us waste it by doing something meaningless? Do note, I said meaningless, not useless. Everything we do is useful in some way but unless we know the reason why we are doing it, we might as well have spent the time staring at the wall. In fact, sleeping would have been a better option because at least you got rest and get up completely refresh and ready to do something meaningful.

God has promised us all abundant life. Doing life His way will lead to success. However, success doesn’t come with tears and sweat. Neither does it come by doing meaningless things everyday. Thus, do things that lead towards success in God. Please know that simply doing something because God said so is meaning enough.